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Hello Doritos,

The past five months leading DCP have been nothing short of a thrilling rollercoaster ride. Together, we’ve achieved remarkable milestones—from storming into the CC finals just one month after our revival, to consistently claiming the #1 spot on the top ten week after week. Along the way, we dominated fierce competitors, defeating EGCP, SP, PIC, and ACP (twice) in intense wars, solidifying our true supremacy and proving our unmatched strength as an army.

My leadership journey began back in 2020 with s/m armies, where I had the honour of leading the Miners. It was during this time that I first crossed paths with 32op, who taught me how armies work. Alongside other amazing people like Qwerty and Best Penguin, 32 taught me the foundations of leadership. Although the Miners rarely maxed over 5, those days were filled with fun experiences, and they helped me with the boredom of lockdown.

A miners event from 2020, raiding random Ice Warriors in the town.

The Miners lasted only a month before I decided to shut them down and enlist in the Club Penguin Marines. The Marines quickly became the first army where I truly felt at home and developed a deep love for the community. I worked my way up to leader, and under my leadership, we achieved significant victories, including triumphing over powerful s/m armies like PZF. It was my first proper leadership experience, and one that taught me much of what I know about army leadership.

Marines vs Golden Troops

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Since the return of DCP and complete domination once again, the legends of this army are all very happy with the results of this generation. In recent meetings some new changes have been made with a new addition to the Hall of Fame and a new addition to the Hall of Shame. 

JOEL

Joel played a pivotal role in the 2024 revival of the Doritos, ensuring they lived up to their legacy and prestige as the dominant force in the community. His leadership cemented the Doritos as the best army around, standing firm against envious career leaders who sought to undermine their success. Through relentless dedication and strategic prowess, Joel upheld the Doritos’ legacy. 

We are proud to have Joel cemented forever as a legend.

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THE DARK TRUTH: NACHO CHEESE’S SECRETS EXPOSED!

(riri nacho cheese sucks)

So, Doritos, you may be wondering why you’re here.

Let’s just say, the Nacho Cheese division isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

(yuh UH)

This post will CORRECT your view of the division, and unearth Nacho Cheese’s deepest, darkest secrets.

First up,

(your nuh uh is invalid)

probably the most well known thing about it:

Nacho Cheese’s TOXICITY

(NUH UH)

Nacho Cheese, saying “FUCK ACP” is 100% alright,

but “FUCK CR”?

Part of your own army?

UNACCEPTABLE!!

That too,

said by a NACHO CHEESE LEADER?!

DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME?

DO YOU NOT LOVE YOUR OWN ARMY?

What the hell do you think you’re doing,

Nacho Cheese?

Slogans and propaganda are okay,

but straight-up muting someone for disagreeing

is NOT ok.

COUP NACHO CHEESE NOW!!

Mind explaining this,

Kira?

Threatening to ban a visitor

for siding with Cool Ranch?

The one who should be banned

is YOU.

“mf why people always target me in branch battles im just a side character go for someone else”

Feigning innocence,

are we now,

 LAWLESS?

ELABORATE THE THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND THIS THEN,

JUDY!

USING (I WON’T EVEN BOTHER TO FIND A WORD)

USING “EURGHHHH” ADJECTIVES AS PROPAGANDA?

WOW, JUDY, HOW MATURE!

HAHAHA, JUDY IS KNOWN AS ONE OF THE MOST MATURE PEOPLE IN CPA!!

Now, humans have free will over their actions.
OR DO THEY?

THIS HERE, IS DAYDAY, A BRAINWASHED
NACHO CHEESE TROOP
“CONVINCING” A MEMBER

TO JOIN THEIR DIVISION.

Hey DayDay,

HUMANS HAVE FREE WILL,
LET THEM EXERCISE IT.

LET. THEM. CHOOSE. FOR. THEMSELVES.

In short, Nacho Cheese is using

foul tactics,

slander,

brainwashing,

blackmail,

“EURGHHH” propaganda,

and much, much more.

What you’ve seen till now

is barely the tip of the giant Nacho Cheese iceberg

(CLUB PENGUIN REFERENCE OMG OMG R U FR RN?!?!??!!1111).

Now,

Nacho Cheese troops,

what do YOU think about your own division now?

Feeling

betrayed?

Confused?

Well,

I urge you to leave Nacho Cheese immediately

(my fingers are already filthy after typing that so many times help)

and join a better division,

such as THE Pope’s Dynamitas

or of course,

the GOATS,

COOL RANCH!!

See ya later, Doritos!

btw,

We’ll settle this, in the UPCOMING BRANCH BATTLE, FIRE VS WATER aka NACHO CHEESE VS COOL RANCH, on MARCH 7TH, 5PM EST | 4PM CST | 2PM PST | 10PM GMT | 3:30 AM IST |

WE’RE DESTINED TO WIN ANYWAY, EVEN CARD JISTU SAYS SO, WATER DEFEATS FIRE!!

COOL RANCH RULES NACHO CHEESE FOOLS!!!

FEAR THE RANCH, FEAR THE SHIELD!!

Signed

Your GOAT,
Cmaster999

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Hey Doritos! As we get started into our  Avatar, The Last Airbender-themed week! Today, we logged onto Klondike to practice forms and tactics.

Max: 34

Congratulations on another successful battle, and once again, thank you to all of our attendees! Please make sure you join our Discord for future events! Fear the shield!

Megs
Third in Command

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Hey Doritos! Today, we logged onto Battleground to practice forms in tactics in a fruity manner! We had a great time stomping onto the battlefield in fruit-themed costumes, and we truly looked particularly appealing! Continue reading →

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