Doritos of Club Penguin

Good Afternoon Doritos,

Today it is with a heavy heart that I must reveal the truth about the Cool Ranch division.

For years, Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch have fought on which branch is superior. Today, I bring you cold, hard evidence of CR and their CRimes.

We all know Joel and Bschar, leaders of DCP, BOTH cool ranch members btw.

Well, take a look at this conversation (shared by an anonymous source)

There you have it folks. This is actually quite interesting seeing as Joel and Ben both have a history of dragging the Name of Nacho Cheese through the MUD.

Wow Ben. Stooping so low as to making up LIES about Nacho Cheese and continuing to praise our name behind closed doors? The hypocrisy doesn’t end there, my dear Doritos…

News Flash Joel: Only losers call other people losers!! Kindness is free!! 🫶🫶

Cool Ranch members also seem to have a teeny tiny obsession with nacho cheese to the point they will threaten new troops into choosing their division over ours??

Manipulating a new troop, and from an HCOM no less.

To the point they’ll even create tactics like this. Denying vulnerable new troops the luxury of their own free will and decision is NOT  a good look, Cool Ranch.

Admit it, Cool Ranch. You’re manipulative, obsessed and crazy (like an ex that won’t leave you alone)

So obsessive, in fact that you’ve mentioned us more than 9000 times?

Cool Ranch are insane. And insanely hypocritical.

Let’s address this: “DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME? DO YOU NOT LOVE YOUR OWN ARMY?”

I could ask you the SAME THING, Cmaster.

Cool Ranch have a history of considering themselves superior to Nacho Cheese and manipulating more people to join them. Whilst also dragging the names of their own leaders through the mud for simply being part of NC.

Yes, DCP. You heard me. They are willing to shame and bully our wonderful Kira for nothing more than being a member of the Nacho Cheesers. Then again, CR will stop at NOTHING to make their division sound like heaven. But today, we learn the truth. It is nothing more than a facade.

Cool Ranch, learn from this. Be better. This is shameful and disappointing behavior.

I’d like to finish this post with a little something I found quite interesting.

The bullying. The disrespect. The SHAME. I think this says it all. Cool Ranch abuse their power, they’re ignorant and disrespectful, indecisive (praising us one second and shitting on us the next), bipolar and hypocrites. I hope this post brings you the attention you’re so desperate for CR <3

Fear the shield!

Signed,

Riri ♡ (Proud Nacho Cheeser)

Filed under: Doritos Army |