• Welcome to the legendary Doritos Army of Club Penguin website!

    We were the strongest army in Club Penguin army history. We were created on February 8, 2010 by Wwebestfan, and we lived strong all the way until Club Penguins closure. We’ve fought the hardest battles, and always came out on top.

    We have done the impossible, and we were always known for standing up for what was right, even if stood alone.

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The Army Republic and the Nachos

If you’ve ever heard the phrase “bottom of the barrel,” these are the bacteria underneath the barrel. These feeble armies can max little more than 10 without basically merging into the same army for “desperate” events, and claim that we cheat because we max more than their entire alliance combined. You failed to realize that you both all already attend each others events anyway, not to mention that just because you have small size, you aren’t saints either. The simple fact is, it’s obvious that you have run out of names to call us, accusations to throw at us, and ignorant troops who are somehow still in your armies. Well allow me to reiterate, the joke’s on you.

What has happened to every other army that has faced up against us this year? They have feared our might, declared war out of fear of us, have been miserably defeated and humiliated, accused us of cheating in outrageously unrealistic accusations, and then finally accepted the fact that they played themselves, surrendering their dignity, their servers, and the claims they so desperately used as a “feasible” excuse for defeat after defeat. We’ve been winning so much, we’ve evolved into a new form of humanity; let me explain.

In the Doritos, there are two types of conditions:

  1. Winning
  2. Winning more

Guess what we’re doing, AR? Guess what we’re doing, Nachos? We’re winning more. We’ve been winning so much more, that we’ve already won. Your formations are pathetic, your tactics are weak, and every single one of your soldiers, on a daily basis, has to continually question as to why they fight every single day for a small army that cant win a single battle. Even Blackbeard, the legendary pirate, has something to say about you:

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.

I suggest the next time you think you can confront us in battle, you should reconsider the fact that we already max 3x your size on a bad day, and we haven’t had a bad day in a very, very long time. There will only be 7 planets left after we destroy uranus.

Doritos ℳ𝓪𝓬𝓱 Leader

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